Flow

I wish I could express myself. Express how I feel more effectively. Rather than getting mad. Rather than stumbling over my words. Rather acting out in a childish way. I wish the words could flow like a stream onto (virtual) paper. Yet it seems like there is dam stopping my flow. The only time the dam appears is when I am not at peace or about to be. Sleep is my peace and keeps me sane. Sleep is when my mind wanders freely and reflects on my actions. What good have i done lately? None. What bad have a I done lately? A lot. What I have done for others? Some but not enough. I would like to live my life without regrets, without guilt, without sadness. But there is this dark shadow blocking out the real me. There is always something holding me back. This dam needs to broken. Needs to be taken down forever. But alas, that dam will stay there until there is too much water pressure to handle.