It is blog writing season for me. December is my emo-i'm-getting-older-and-still-no-improvement-in-the-love-department. January is i'm-trying-not-to-be-emo-and-put-on-a-happy-face-so-i-can-tell-life-to-suck-it. February is another-reason-why-i-dread-my-non-existent-love-life-because-everyone-else-around-me-has-it month. I know I am being over-dramatic but as one of my students said today, "Miss you should be in drama class"
The way that my brain has been acting is a indicator of how alone I am going to be in the future. I will always have high expectations of a man that does not exist. I need to stop tripping about a man and worry about my self-esteem, which has always been a problem. I cannot be a mother because I am to messed up in the head and deal with kids on a daily basis so why would I add one in my personal space. Just the thought of me thinking a child of mine would be burden implies many negative things.
Maybe this is stress talking instead of somewhat calm, not really Nazia.
Wow. I really need to steer back towards Emofest! So I told Anat, that on V-Day I'm going to wear ALL BLACK to be anti-Valentine. So I have another problem on my hand! I want to be the Grinch during Christmas, be an anti-love symbol on Valentine's Day. What else will I go against?
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